The Saddest...

I dream of Septembers
where the snow of Decembers 
slowly accumulates
on the front porch
Instead of feet
we get a discreet 
layer on all
An average fall
that the body can bear 
and take on
for when there is 
a powerful storm
my body experiences pain
and  becomes a battered form
And when it's cold out there
the air i consume
chills me inside
opening up wounds
that no one can tend to
Yes some say "I can mend you"
but what afflicts me
few have ever been through
I speak of heartaches
and mornings
where the sun never appears
I now search for the strength
while hounded by fear
i find myself on my own ship
yet it is not i who steers
nor peers
but the one who had my heart
and drowned it in tears
I'm not afraid to say i'm hurting
hoping that closure 
eventually appears