The Saddest...

I dream of Septembers
where the snow of Decembers 
slowly accumulates
on the front porch
Instead of feet
we get a discreet 
layer on all
An average fall
that the body can bear 
and take on
for when there is 
a powerful storm
my body experiences pain
and  becomes a battered form
And when it's cold out there
the air i consume
chills me inside
opening up wounds
that no one can tend to
Yes some say "I can mend you"
but what afflicts me
few have ever been through
I speak of heartaches
and mornings
where the sun never appears
I now search for the strength
while hounded by fear
i find myself on my own ship
yet it is not i who steers
nor peers
but the one who had my heart
and drowned it in tears
I'm not afraid to say i'm hurting
hoping that closure 
eventually appears

The Lessons We Take

What am I looking for?

beyond that which I had

that which I tossed away

and that which I passed

a love till this day

I regret didn't last

pain so unbearable'

it hurts when I laugh

I look at myself and

realize that with you

I became everything i hated

and despised

the moment

I saw agony in your eyes

but even in my failure

triumph lies

for with what I learned

with humility I was prized

So now in darkness I find

that piece of me 

I must place 

in the hands of the one 

for inside her it will either be mended

or in her hands it breaks 

Lost In The Confusion

There are times when the mind
in all its glory and wisdom
tells you things
you can't understand
prepares you for an emotion
that has no meaning
and can't be defined
you find yourself lost in a stream of thought
almost thought impossible
the emotions firing off in quick succession
love lust and joy
caught in the eye of a dreamer
bleeder of the emotional type
adding to his plight
as he deals with lonely days and lonely nights
the eternal fight
he's caught in
between that which he loves and that which he writes
for what he wants to say
on paper he writes
never escaping his lips
no matter how hard he may try
time passing by
yet what he feels never dies
this is his world
in a game
where he can never show his hand
without knowing where she stands
afraid that if he shows it
what he feels
she could not comprehend
an explosion
as potent
as a dagger through a man